Hey God, You Have A Plan, Right?

SCARRED BY CAUSTIC WORDS?
Posted by Karen on Wednesday, May 9, 2012 at 8:27am
This morning I read of a young 13 year old girl in Minnesota who committed suicide by hanging herself because of bullying. How sad!! That makes me angry when I read of the pain anyone who experiences caustic words---no matter how old they are. Whether they are bullied or in a abusive relationship. Written or spoken, words are continuously pressing us on through life. They lift us up, drag us down, wound us deeply or heal our hearts. Words have the power to break confidences, build life-long partnerships, or start wars. I was verbally abused by my spouse. I would rather have been physically abused than verbally or emotionally abused. Verbal abuse marks the victim on the inside. Unlike the marks of physical abuse which will heal, the damage from verbal abuse can compound to cause serious emotional damage to its victim. Anger, depression, and low self-esteem can be products of verbal abuse. And they can last a lifetime. Verbal abuse causes you to doubt yourself, your abilities, and your own judgment. Verbal abuse will make you feel insecure and vulnerable, powerless and depressed. No matter how much you try to please, nothing you do will ever be enough to stop the abuse. The words we speak may have a profound effect on the people: encouraging or discouraging, building up or tearing down. In the Bible, James compares the human tongue to a horse. We can control this spirited animal with a small piece of metal, yet we cannot control the words that fall from our lips. “If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to harness the whole body…indeed we put bits in horses’ mouths that they many obey us, and we turn (or control) their whole body.” James 3:2-3 Why is it so difficult to refrain from saying words we know will only hurt? Is it really that hard to control what we say? How hard do we really try? It simply requires a form of self-discipline in our lives. Yes, it is easier to harness a wild horse than to reign in the tongue. Healing from verbal/emotional abuse often requires professional counseling. This is very important to be able to regain the self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem that was lost. There is hope to live a joy filled life. I was in counseling for a long time, but I now enjoy the freedom to be me, having regained what I lost! So let’s be mindful of what the little chorus says, “So be careful little tongue what you say…” God bless you today! www.karenjessing.com Total visits to this site: 45,760 The proposal fo my next book Hey God, You Do Makeovers, Right? is being finalized!!
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GOD'S IN THE RESTORATION BUSINESS!
Posted by Karen on Monday, April 23, 2012 at 9:41am
A favorite TV show in our home is “American Pickers”. I enjoy watching these two guys go all over the country looking for junk. They would stop at a place that is ‘overgrown’ with stuff (often a place I wouldn't feel comfortable stopping at), they get into their pickin’ mode. When they find a “keeper”, they bargain it down, and load it in their van. They see something in it that's worth restoring, and leave happy! This weekend, we went to the Antique Tractor Show in Tulare, CA, where people bring their treasures they have restored from broken down junk and show it off! Over 250 operating tractors from the early 1900’s enter the parade. We all marvel how something so old can look so good and run so well! I look forward to this event every year---I used to drive tractors in the fields on the farm as a kid. A friend who restores old tractors has had me drive a restored 1950’s Ford tractor in the parade! Memories, memories, memories!!! I watched an old 1940’s John Deere tractor putt-putting by our RV which shined like it had just come off the showroom floor at a dealership. I wondered what stories that old tractor could tell if it could talk--- how he toiled and struggled to pull that one-bottom plow through hard soil, how he helped this owner get the crops out of the field at harvest time, how he was retired because he was replaced by modern technology and put in the junk graveyard. Then someone saw some potential to make him into something beautiful and useful again. I thought about our lives. God is waiting to do that for us, too!! We go along in life toiling and struggling with our trials and stresses. He sees our brokenness and strife, and says, “Behold, I will do a new thing...” Through His love and grace, He can make something beautiful of our lives---only if we allow Him to. You see, God is in the restoration business! God bless you this week! Website: www.karenjessing.com TOTAL VISITS TO THIS SITE! 45,023 Email: karenjessing@aol.com UPDATE----My new book, *Hey God, You Do Makeovers, Right?:* The proposal is almost ready to send off to the agent! ---I spoke at the Woodward Park Baptist Church Women's Retreat also this weekend which was truly a blessing! God is good and is touching lives! PTL!
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A GUIDE TO BECOMING REAL!
Posted by Karen on Friday, April 6, 2012 at 7:51am
This time of year we see lots rabbits---chocolate bunnies everywhere in stores. I enjoy indulging in a good piece of chocolate, but more than that, rabbits remind me of something else---The Velveteen Rabbit. I love that children’s story as there are so many principles that apply to adults. Margery Williams, the author, wrote about a guide to becoming Real-Real with ourselves. Real with our hopes and desires, Real with the people we love, and Real with everyone else, too. Real is a process that is sometimes intimidating and sometimes painful, but in the end far more rewarding than we ever could imagined. With the help of a wise old skin horse and a sawdust-filled bunny, we are reminded that Real isn’t how we are made, it’s something inside of you. Qualities that make us Real include courage, honesty, gratitude, flexibility and honesty. Develop your Real self, live with empathy and establish satisfying relationships. Becoming Real means learning to truly love yourself and not a version of something you think you were supposed to be. “The Velveteen Principles” Real is possible Real is a process Real is emotional Real is empathetic Real is courageous Real is honest Real is grateful Real can be painful Real is flexible Real love endures Real is ethical May this Easter season be a special time for you, as you reflect the real reason for Easter---the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ, who gave His life for us. His desire is for us to be Real, as we were made in His Image. Blessings to you! www.karenjessing.com TOTAL VISITS TO THIS WEBLOB: 43,970 *HEY GOD, YOU DO MAKEOVERS, RIGHT?* is almost completed and will be sent off this month to agents to be considered for publishing!
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BURDENED WITH BAGGAGE? TIME TO SPRING CLEAN
Posted by Karen on Friday, March 23, 2012 at 2:27pm
Spring is the time when many people deep clean their homes, unload unwanted junk, pull out the lawn furniture and spruce up the landscape. Humans are strange – most want to “hang on” to everything: their old clothes; old notes; old magazines; old letters; anything that might put a stress on their lives. I dread cleaning closets, drawers, the garage, and the basement because that means making decisions. What shall I keep; what should I let go? These are my “treasures”, though I may not have used them in years. Memories and relationships from our past may need to be evaluated. Perhaps it’s time to do a personal inventory. The kind of garbage we willingly choose to drag around with us comes in the form of grudges, painful memories, and other types of mental and spiritual debris from the past that we refuse to release. We have a difficult time forgiving the ex-spouse who treated us terribly. We refuse to let go of the unfairness of a situation at work, church or some other group of which we are a part. We continue to beat ourselves up for past mistakes. Remember, that which we hold onto (our hurt, resentment, grudge, unforgiveness, pain) is actually holding onto us—keeping us stuck. Our lives are intertwined with things we can’t change or control. These can also cause us emotional pain. Being who we are, and our world being as it is, there isn’t a person who will not experience the painful situation which will precipitate a wounded spirit. Maybe you have been unjustly treated at some time by another person; been struggling with the loss of a loved one leaving you devastated with no hope; been stricken by a debilitating disease without any promise of a cure; been given a pink slip for a job you held for years. These wounds consume energy. These wounds rob you of joy and peace. These wounds control your attitude and behavior, leading to a future of depression and despair. You are the only one who controls the pain you experience. What happens to you isn’t nearly as important as how you handle it. These were truths learned from my therapist. “This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which lie ahead” (Philippians 3:13) gave new meaning to my life. In time I was able to finally let go of the resentment and bitterness that I had from my abusive marriage. I was finally free from the bondage of my past. There are several steps to healing a wounded spirit: • Don’t try to change another person—change yourself. • Leave the judging to God. The Bible says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19). • Practice forgiveness. • Pray for those who mistreat you. • See the good in others in spite of what they do. • Let God heal your broken spirit Moving forward takes courage, a plan, and a dream. Time is a great healer. Three steps forward, and two back is still is moving forward. Healing a wounded spirit can begin with clean up time. God bless you this week! www.karenjessing.com *TOTAL VISITS TO THIS SITE TO DATE: 41,775*
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Living Behind A Mask?
Posted by Karen on Sunday, March 11, 2012 at 7:31pm
I ran across this when writing the chapter, "Hiding Behind The Mask", in my new book. For years, I wore many masks protecting myself when living the dark secret of my abusive marriage. We wear masks for many different reasons. This has a real message!! "PLEASE HEAR WHAT I AM NOT SAYING" by Charles C. Finn 1966 "Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. "Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command and that I need no one, but don't believe me. "My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing. Beneath lies no complacence. Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. "But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope, and I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something. But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to. I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance, will not be followed by love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me. I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing and that you will see this and reject me. "So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within. So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me. So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but what I can't say. "I don't like hiding. I don't like playing superficial phony games. I want to stop playing them. I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings-- very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings! ".....You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic, from my lonely prison, if you choose to. Please choose to. "Do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back. It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man often I am irrational. I fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive. " Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet." Update on my upcoming book, Hey God, You Do Makeovers, Right?: The book proposal is almost completed and will be sent off to literary agents to be considered for publication! Writing this book has been an exciting journey! 40,441 visits to this site Have a good day! www.karenjessing.com
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